Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Maybe A Tapeworm Isn't So Bad...

Spring is in the air. The birds are chirping and the flowers are blooming. Another integral part of spring is “Spring Cleaning”. I embarked upon a spring cleaning of my insides. Yes, I participated in a detox. For five days, my husband, friends, and I will not eat butter, sugar, or bacon (which are three major food groups for me). Perusing the meal plan prior to the detox, I thought our upcoming menu was feasible. The meals seemed appetizing and I don’t have to eat a tapeworm, which is always a plus.

Day 1- Lunch was the best meal of the day. I was amazed at how much I grab for snacks in the cabinet. This is forcing me to eat fruit and vegetables (ewwww). Even though I am eating more, I’m starving. This feeling reminds me of being pregnant (which I’m not!).

Day 2- Crap! I was preparing my lunch and my salmon exploded in the microwave. No, not popped...exploded. I still had to choke it down. I hate this diet.

Day 3- It feels like I’ve been doing this detox for ten days, not three. Crankiness is setting in.

Day 4- The thought of choking down another flavorless tilapia filet makes me edgy. As I squeezed lemon over the beloved fish, a light at the end of the tunnel appeared. Our friends called off the detox and said to come over for pizza and ice cream! It was glorious!

Okay, so we didn’t go the whole five days, so what? The insatiable need for pizza grease and coffee ice cream clouded my good judgment. We stopped a little short of our five day goal. However, since then, I’ve developed healthier eating habits. My lunch now consists of real food instead of cookies  Mmm...cookies.

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