Thanks For My Mother's Day Gift...Now Where's The Gift Receipt?

Are you that mom who has to practice the "I love it" face in the mirror before receiving your Mother's Day gift? If you're looking to break the cycle and get something you actually want, have your family read this not-so-subtle list of Mother's Day gift no-no's.

1. A generic lotion and bath set. In your bathroom cabinet, you'll find a sea of old lotions that you hate. What mother of little kids has that much time to sit in a bath?
2. A hideous sweater that's two sizes too small. Great. I wouldn't be caught dead in this thing and I feel fat!
3. A gift that your husband or kids really want like a new drill or video game. 
4. The same bad gift, five years in a row. 
5. A loaf of bread. Yes, a loaf of bread. This actually happened to someone:
"The worst Mother's Day gift I received was a Trader Joe's brown paper bag with a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread in it. I don't even like cinnamon raisin bread—he does!! I cried. My husband said he forgot and Trader Joe's was the only place open on Sunday morning. Cripes! He could have gone to the grocery store and bought a bouquet of flowers."
6. Anything related to domestic duties. I love a clean and organized house, but please don't interpret that as a green light to give me  a steam cleaner, a juicer, salt and pepper shakers, a pot holder, or a step ladder.
7.Anything with 'World's Best Mom' printed on it. It's a nice sentiment from your kids. However, are you really gonna sport that mug or t-shirt in public?
8. A scale. No explanation necessary. 
9. Any "as seen on TV" item. It was intriguing on TV, but I don't want a Snuggie, Bump-It, Shake Weight, or Pajama Jeans. 
10. A lovely dinner (that you have to cook and clean up)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!