Double the dosage...

SAHMs (stay at home moms) should have a commercial.  Yes, I said a commercial.  One that promotes the joy, fulfillment and side effects of becoming a SAHM.  I'm thinking the commercial should follow the same format that medications like Zyrtec and Yaz have.  It would feature non-stop pleasant images that portray the freedom that comes with being a SAHM.  Here are some image ideas:

• A mom pushing her child on a swing
• A mom cheering on her son as he scores the winning soccer goal while handing out snacks
• Loving hands pulling fresh baked cookies out of the oven
• Pulling up in the minivan and kissing the children as they skip off to school
• Cycling on the beach.  (this image is standard in all drug commercials and I will uphold the tradition)

Ok, ok you get the picture.  The best part of the drug commercial is when they run through the laundry list of side effects that result from taking the drug.  My personal favorite is oily flatulence (is that not a red flag or what?).  The side effects are usually stated by the narrator while they continually roll the pleasant images.  However, the SAHM commercial will feature a visual image of each of the side effects.  Picture this, side effects may include, but are not limited to:

• The intense desire to wear "Mom Jeans" and white leather Keds.
• Incorrect usuage of outdated cultural references (i.e. "Son, would you like a cookie, they're cowabunga!")
• Excessive poo clean-up.  (The image will be of a mom cleaning poo from under her nails)
• Carpal tunnel due to excessive laundry folding.
• Deafness to childrens' whining.
• Last but certainly not least...oily flatulence.  (Hey, it could happen)

If your symptoms persist, please contact your physician immediately.